So what's with all the fuss about 'mindfulness'? What does it even mean and why should we care? Well, mindfulness is really just a catch-all term to describe relief from worry and stress. Our minds naturally can't help but keep busy all the time, even when there is little environmental stimulation, think lying awake in bed at night unable to get to sleep. Our modern lives have no lack of stimulation, so it's no wonder we often struggle to find moments when we feel calm. We've become so used to constant input, that our minds are unaccustomed to having any down-time. For some of us it can feel as though nothing short of exhaustion will bring relief from our constant thoughts. Obviously this isn't great, because feeling stressed about constant thoughts just leads to more thoughts.
You can think of mindfulness as a tool for calming the mind. How it achieves this is by focusing on the present moment. You might also hear it described as 'being present' or 'being mindful'. The reason for trying to focus your thoughts in the present, is that excessive thinking about the future can cause anxiety. Whilst excessive thinking about the past can cause melancholy. It's also fair to say that we have less control over the future or the past than we do over the present, if for no other reason than we only ever exist in the present.
Some of you might be thinking that it's nonsense to suggest that we don't think enough about the present. But most of us don't even realize how much we operate on auto-pilot, think washing your hands or brushing your teeth, and therefore aren't thinking about what we're doing right now. Our minds use these moments to hijack our consciousness with thoughts about the past or present. This is something that can tend to be even more pervasive when we've had insufficient sleep or are constantly busy. There are also social cues suggesting that we should be thinking about the future, whether it be from aspirational advertising, or from indirect social pressure that in order to succeed you need to stay 'forward-focused'.
Sometimes this constant activity of the mind can begin to feel overwhelming, or even inescapable. Whether it's not being able to stop thinking about career or personal relationships, we often feel the need to escape. For some this can mean having a glass of wine, or perhaps distracting ourselves with social media or television. But just as thoughts can sometimes feel unstoppable, the methods we use to distract our thoughts can at times be less effective. That's why it can be a good idea to have a few different techniques at the ready, since the more confident we feel about being able to manage our thoughts, the less likely we are to succumb to feeling overwhelmed by them.
With this in mind, I thought it'd be a good idea to share some of the various techniques that have worked for me previously in helping to calm the mind. In no particular, these are merely suggestions, so pick-and-choose what sounds good to you. Some might come naturally to you and others might take a bit of work.
Active Listening. By listening attentively to the other person in a conversation, you'll find yourself immersed in the conversation rather than feeling self-conscious. Simply being attentive to the particular words being said by the speaker can help you to be naturally responsive to the flow of the conversation, and not be instead thinking of the next thing to say to sound funny or impressive. This can have the added bonus if being an effective means of easing any social anxiety or nervousness. focusing on
Touch. The sensation of touch is often ignored. Sometimes it's not unless we feel pain or discomfort that it gets any attention. Giving yourself some time to enjoy the tactile nature of things around you can help bring the mind into the present moment. This can be as simple as moving an object around with your fingers and paying attention the touch sensations of texture and pressure, such as with a pen or an orange. Or it might just be noticing the parts of your body that are touching the surface of a chair, couch or bed. Even brushing your hair or teeth is a good opportunity to pay attention to the sensation of touch for tasks that normally go virtually unnoticed.
Movement. There are so many basic tasks that we do on a daily basis with very little thought given to them. Such as going to the shops, making dinner, cleaning, or taking a shower. Because we're so accustomed to these simple tasks, they require little concentration and so our minds drift off to unrelated thoughts. By paying attention to these basic movements, they are an ideal way to ground ourselves in the present moment. It might feel unproductive to do so, but the true value is in giving our minds a chance to focus on one thing at a time and be present. Something else you might like to try related to movement is mixing up your routine. For example, if you have a regular route that you take on a walk, you could vary this up by changing the route. This will bring new sights and sounds to keep your mind present.
Silence. Close your eyes and listen to what you hear. It's rare that our environment is ever fully silent. You might notice the sound of birds, distant traffic, voices or maybe the wind. Even if you find yourself somewhere that happens to be very quiet, you'll still be able to notice the sound of your breath. Keep paying attention to what you hear, and you'll find the mind seeking out even very subtle distant sounds, as it naturally tries to map your environment. This is a good way to focus the mind with little effort.
Breathing Meditation. Don't be put off by the term meditation, feel free to give it your own meaning, so that you have agency over what it can do for you. To simplify it though, you can think of it as sitting or lying still with your eyes closed and listening to the sound of your breath. All you're doing is observing your breath, not trying to control it. Once you're comfortable with this, you can then observe what feelings you're currently experiencing. Finally, observe your thoughts. Again, no need to try to control them, just the simple act of observation will allow for the possibility of acceptance and calm.
Body Awareness. An extension of the breathing meditation, this seeks to create a greater awareness of what your body is doing. Observe your posture. Feel the tightness of any muscles, and what your digestive system is doing. Creating an awareness of what's happening in your body will help you to feel present.
Mantra. Mantras are common to many religions and have been in use for a very long time. Simply repeating a sound or phrase can be both comforting and a great way to be mindful. You don't have to pick a religious phrase to practice, you can simply vocalize any sound that appeals to you. I have to admit that I often cheat with this one and just hum a sound to myself over and over. I know it's a bit of a shortcut, but it works for me.
If you find yourself enjoying taking the time out to be present and want to explore further, then you may enjoy Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now. This last tip is one from Eckhart Tolle, and is a brilliantly simple mind hack.
Next Thought. Think to yourself - "What will my next thought be?". By just waiting for the next thought to pop into your head, your mind will become quite alert as it eagerly anticipates what unexpected surprise will pop up next. It's really just an extension of the idea that pausing between tasks gives your mind a chance to re-focus. This is one you'll just have to try for yourself and see if it works for you.
Remember that these tips are only suggestions. Some you'll likely find useful and some not. What's important is to not put pressure on yourself, as that will only further stress the mind. Instead think of it is a journey of self-exploration, which won't will not always be a straight road. But that's half the fun!